God is fake
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
I have one policy, and that is to not make fun of black people.
Sorry, Jesus. You were white in the Bible pictures.
Jesus got rejected. A few years later he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.
Get off this site and go have some sex, you fucking virgins.
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?
Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.
Why did Jesus play football?
He was Spanish, ayo.
"Cheesus" hates me, yeah, I know, 'cause he's a real douchelord fictional character.
When did Jesus die?
On Luan Day hahahahahahahahahahahahaha LOUD HOUSE wink wink.
What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?
When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.
In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
Yo Hairline so far back it goes back to Jesus on the cross
What is Jesus’s Favorite Exercise?
CrossFit.
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
What's the difference between Jesus and a holy whore?
Jesus got pegged against a cross.
Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?
Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.
Jesus has a twisted humor.
kittens cute cuddly and loveable oh yeah, I almost forgot, add razors that stick out [of] their feet.
A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"
And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"
What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?
They can both flash.
