Jesus jokes
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
Satan and the devil are alter egos.
What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?
Depends on who's sucking.
Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"
7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!
Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?
In the Bible, it says Jesus died for our sins, but he came back to life, so what did he sacrifice?
Was it a weekend to wash away our sins?
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
Like if you love God and Jesus.
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
What kind of car does Jesus drive?
A Christler.
God is fake.
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
I have one policy, and that is to not make fun of black people.
Sorry, Jesus. You were white in the Bible pictures.
Jesus got rejected. A few years later he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.
Get off this site and go have some sex, you fucking virgins.
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
Man 1: Why don’t we just put all the debt in the world on one man, then kill him?
Man 2: We tried that once. It started a cult.
Why did Jesus play football?
He was Spanish, ayo.
"Cheesus" hates me, yeah, I know, 'cause he's a real douchelord fictional character.