Jesus jokes
Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?
Why does Satan worship himself?
Jesus told him to worship God.
A true God would be godless himself.
God's consciousness: Art.
God's unconsciousness: Christianity.
The only difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus believed in himself.
Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.
Has anyone alive ever died?
Is this our eternal life?
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?
You decide.
The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
Satan and the devil are alter egos.