it's jokes

Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.

Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!

Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-

Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!

When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.

“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”

Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.

Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?

The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!

Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?

Son: Sure thing, dad!

Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!

Son: I don't get the joke, dad.

Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.

When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

"You look like you've lost some weight."

"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.

What is the smartest month?

April - No one can fool it.

What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.

I made it, DON'T COPY!!!

What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'

'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'

What is a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it sure as hell ain't plain.

I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.

Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!

My heart says to stop because it hurts.

Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.

Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?

You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.

That's why priests invented baptism.

I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.

I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".

I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."

Did you hear the joke about the butter?

What is it?

I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.