it's jokes
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.
My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^
Pontypool is rough.
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
BRO ASTRO NOVALITE IS A SCARDEY CAT, SO MUCH HE IS SCARED OF DANDY, THAT HE'S AFRAID TO ASK HIM TO BE HIS FRIEND OR HIS SECRET LOVER, LIKEEEE BRUHHHHH IT'S NOT THAT TOUGH BRO, LIKE GET OVER IT
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
Why is death taken so lightly?
Because you can take it so quickly.
Why do Vampires like virgins?
Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because it's not original at all.
Your hairline lookin' like it got slapped up by Will Smith.
Why can't an orphan go to S. C. Johnson?
Because it's family owned.
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.
Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.
I want to make a joke about old age, but I'm too senile to finish it.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!