it's jokes

There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.

I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!

I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.

Q: How do you know a wishing well works?

A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.

Q. What walks through alleys and has a hole in it?

A. Batman's parents.

What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Isn't it strange that the LGBTQ flag only has straight lines?

Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.

I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extremely handicapped.

I'm calling it "Fruits and Vegetables".

What is a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it sure as hell ain't plain.

What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.

I made it, DON'T COPY!!!

Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.

Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!

Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-

Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!

I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.

Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!

My heart says to stop because it hurts.

Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.

Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.

There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.

You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.

That's why priests invented baptism.

My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.

They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.

I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.

“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”