it's jokes
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!
Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
#NoMoreOrphanJokes STOP IT NOW! I will dislike all the orphan jokes that appear.
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”
When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.
How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.
Why can't America play chess?
Because it lost two towers.
Three girls were lined up for execution. The black-haired one, being the smart one, turned around and yelled, "Tornado!"
Everyone panicked, and she escaped. The red-headed one, following her example, shouted as the executioners got back, "Hurricane!"
The red-headed friend escaped too. Now, it was the blonde's turn. Following both her friends, she turned to the executioners and yelled:
"Fire!"
Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors' fault like this:
Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: Yeah? Sailor 1: You see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1: You know what would be pretty funny?
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
I got home one day and a Spanish guy, white guy, black guy told me that your sister knows her meats.
She won a trophy. We blindfolded her, then my sister said, "Yeah, I was blindfolded, and I gave all three of them blowjobs and I had to guess which flavor of the meat it was."
The Trophy said Best Blowjobs. As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.
So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
When you're sad, don't feel down about yourself. Break a leg, and you'll forget all about it.