it's jokes
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Nevermind, it's POINTLESS.
Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.
My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^
Pontypool is rough.
Why did 10 run away?
Now it's 8, 9/11.
You are so ugly Santa goes "ho ho ho holy sh*t."
Just came up with a smart new way to make jokes. Try to figure it out without context
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time it was sung... the line “fire away” caused massive confusion and shooting!
Bob, why are you kicking the kids?
What, it's not like they have a home to go to.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So it could get to the other side!
Let's stop this, it's not funny. Oh wait, the orphans are all gone with nobody. 😂
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.
I slit my wrist and said, "THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE!" So I did it again, but with a knife and said, "NOW *THAT'S* A LOT OF DAMAGE!" I then put watertight Flex Seal on the wound, and it didn't seal.
A man walks into a bar. The man says, "Why the human face?" It's not funny at all.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter; it won’t come anyway.
Your forehead is so big it drips pickle juice!
What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.
I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.
Wait, there aren't any road bumps.
O h s h i t.
As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.
Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.