it's jokes

Chili

    • Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.

  • 1

    • Delivery service

    • A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?

    I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.

    Orphan

    • Why can’t orphans have phones?

    Because it has a home button.

    Why don’t orphans play baseball?

    Because they can’t get a home run.

    Cop

    • A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window, and says, "We are looking for two child molesters!"

    Now after a short pause, the two men look at each other, then back at the officer and say, "We'll do it!"

  • 5
    • it's memes

    Trash Can

    • "Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."

    Stripper

    • When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.

  • 3

    • Jesus

    • What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

    It only takes one nail to hang a painting.

    Wife

    • Dschoha's wife was accustomed to go out at night to meet her lover, which caused the neighbors to tease Dschoha. Thus, one night he stayed awake until she left, then locked the door and sat down just inside.

    Upon returning, she found the door locked. She asked him to have mercy on her and to open the door, but he just scolded her.

    Having given up hope for a good outcome, she said to him, "If you don't open the door for me, I'll jump into the well."

    Then she picked up a large stone and threw it into the well. Filled with regret, he ran outside to see what had happened. His wife immediately slipped into the house and locked the door.

    He made every effort to convince her to let him come inside, but she scolded him incessantly, saying, "This is what you get for staying out all night with your drunken friends!" And thus she succeeded in shaming him in the presence of all their neighbors.

  • 0

    • Yo mama

    • Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."

  • 2

    • Head

    • A guy is due to meet his friends for drinks at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late.

    The guy says, "Well, you won't believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."

    The friends are cheering and one friend asks, "So... did you get any head?"

    The guy replies, "No, I couldn't find it."

  • 9

    • Dream

    • One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!

  • 1

    • Weed

    • Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.

    Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.

    I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.

    Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.

  • 2