it's jokes
Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?
It uses Hershey pronouns.
Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!
What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.
What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.
Why is Uranus so big? Because you discovered it.
Me: That’s a good WAVE.
Friend: I SEA it.
Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.
Me: I was SHORE it would be good.
Friend: I SEA what you did there.
A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."
Some people think emo jokes are funny, but I think it can cut both ways.
I thought it was polite to open the door for a lady, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
How do you get away with rape?
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
What do you call a red potato?
A tomato. 🍅
(I know it's cringe!)
A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.
"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.
"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."
The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"
She said, "Not everybody paid."
I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.
I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.
Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.
It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
The Demon when it gets summoned to earth only to find out it was a spelling mistake in Latin class. 😬
I saw an ISIS video and I got the theme stuck in my head. I was humming it the next day at work when my Arab co-worker said, "soon, my brother."
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.
He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.