it's jokes
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project, but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed.
You're like a cloud. When you go away, it's a beautiful day.
What is sticky, but it cannot stick a stick?
What is the name of the political party in the United States that was founded in 1971 and has lost a presidential election since 1972, and is more politically corrupted than the man boy love association of America because it is politically motivated?
Libertarian Party.
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
I HATE URANUS! I WANNA KICK IT!
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive subject.
Why is the sun so attractive? Because it is burning hot!
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
God created everyone unique till he got to Asia, then it just went to copy paste, copy paste.
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
Yo Mama is so dumb, she stares at a juice carton for an eternity because it says "Concentrate" on the box.
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor!" she said.
"S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber."
They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B."
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?"
"I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.
"Spot on!" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples."
"Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"
"No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper."
When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
Hi!!!! So it has been a very long time, and I have seen that your jokes have been becoming more and more inappropriate.
Guys, you don't need to be inappropriate to be cool! You are awesome if you like school, and even if you are gay, or anything in the LGBTQ+ category. #PRIDE
Anyway, I myself am not LGBTQ+, but I don't think people who are should get shamed for it. I love you guys, and stay positive!!!