it's jokes
What food makes you smart? Salt, because it's a mined food.
If you are having sex and your feet are out of the tent, it doesn't count.
How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark crying.
None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
Just me...
"Hump a vow, it makes a cow."
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
If at first it doesn't succeed, try, try again.
"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.
Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.
Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.
Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.
I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.
I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
Who is the fastest reader? 9/11, it went through 10 stories in 7 seconds.
So, I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies. I stole one, not noticing my mom was behind me.
So my mom said, "Put the cookie back, kid!" and I said I wasn't gonna eat it. Then she said, "Never mind, I'll get your father." So my mom said, "Honey, deal with your son; I'm going to the mall!" And my dad said, "Son, if you're not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!"
So he went into his room, and I heard the belt, and I was going to run, but I knew it would be worse. So he said, "This will be your punishment." As he was getting ready to hit me, I said, "Daddy, no, please, I wasn't gonna eat it!" But he said, "No, you won't change my mind, little boy!" Then he hit me. Thank you for reading! Stay healthy and stay safe in this time. Bye!!! Read more of my jokes; they'll probably be around the website!!
They killed a whole family of crows... It was a murder!
They killed a bunch of ravens... What a conspiracy!
Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?
Because no one forgets it! :)
I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can FEEL it!
A kid is learning about planets in school, when he hears the planet Uranus. Knowing it's the perfect opportunity for a joke, the kid replies, "Where's my anus?"