it's jokes

What did the window say to the door?

"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"

Get it?

Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?

It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.

Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.

Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!

Me: What did my sister do when she dressed up as Elsa and I gave her a balloon?

You: What?

Me: She let it go, let it go!

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter, he's not coming.

It's the Olympics.

Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.

A sister went to her brother's room and says,

"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"

"Yes, sis."

"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)

"My pet snake."

"Can I pet it?"

"Yes."

He wakes up in a hospital.

"What happened?"

"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."

"You dummy!"

"Whaaat?"

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

What can a physically handicapped ♿ gay man 👬 do on his own very well 👏 without being taught how to do?

Perform fellatio on gay men.

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"

What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?

Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?

Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.

Fat guy: Thinking.

Don’t kill the Earth, it’s the only one with beer.

Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.

Yo mama so ugly, she looked in the mirror and it broke.

What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?

"I'm totally dogging it today..."

Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

Take a water bottle, shake it, you got piss.

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"