it's jokes

Abortion isn't murder.

It's backspacing a typo.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?

He was lucky it was a soft drink!

Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.

How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."

Want to hear a joke?

My life. Get it?

Hurricane Irma, it blows.

I made a website for orphans the other day... it doesn’t have a home page.

Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.

My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.

Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.

Random guy: Come on, Bin Laden, time is ticking. Get it, ticking. OK, I'll leave.

I ate some gunpowder once. It was an exploding experience.

If a sped is late for class, is it wrong to call them tardy?

History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."

Student: "I need that."

I went to a muffler party... it was exhausting!

Wanna hear a skeleton joke?

Sorry, I don't have the guts to tell it.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends how hard you throw them.

I was going to make a 9/11 joke, but I'm afraid it will crash and burn.

I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.