it's jokes
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
If you really think about it, every market in Africa is a black market.
When it comes to bears, of course they always give bear hugs, well what do you call them when they aren't hugging right?
Just barely hugging you! Lol.
How did Helen Keller get punished?
Her parents gave her a bomb and told her to eat it.
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.
Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.
Your momma is so fat, she eats insulation and thinks it's cotton candy.
What is the same thing between water and dark jokes?
Not everyone gets it!
Your hairline is so big even Dora the Explorer can't explore it!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.
If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?
If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.
Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!
Why did the duck say hi to the other butt?
Because he wanted it to smell good.
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Cause it's a family company.
I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.