it's jokes
When a deaf person is on trial, is it really considered a hearing?
Denki: Hey Mineta, I have a joke.
Mineta: ...go on...
Denki: Ochako's booty.
Mineta: I don't get it?
Denki: Exactly.
Mineta: *cries T_T*
How come Christmas is one time? Because it is so nice!
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
Hi Liv & KK! It's me Gwen, remember me from the orphan joke protest?
What is it called when someone is a wheel chair and in a fire?
Answer: Hot wheels...
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
"Texas be like it's cold over here over here."
My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!
Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!
I only have 4 moods:
• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you
I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:
• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything
and don't forget the inevitable
• fuck it
and for those who have just given up
• fuck
This is beautiful.
Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
Yo momma's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.