it's jokes

I made a song about a tortilla. Well, it's more of a wrap.

What's your mom and a dog got in common?

Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

BlessedBrian's face is like a mood ring... it turns blue whenever I'M around.

I'd insult BlessedBrian, but it seems NATURE beat me to it.

I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!

Leo is like a cloud... when she disappears, it's a beautiful day.

What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?

A PDF file.

Abortion isn't murder.

It's backspacing a typo.

I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"

Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."

What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?

Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.

Yo mama is so retarded, they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!

Why don't molestation victims speak up about their trauma? Because it's a touchy topic.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They have no home to run to.

Get it?

How did the orphan lose its parents?

Its parents never came back from getting milk.

They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?

Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning?

It has better reactions than the Twin Towers.

I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.

I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."

Your mama is so fat that when she ate a burger, she liked it.