it's jokes

Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.

What do us emos all have in common?

Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."

Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

What did the rapper say to his microwave?

"Yo, heat it up, fam!"

Abortion isn't murder.

It's backspacing a typo.

I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"

Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They have no home to run to.

Get it?

How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, because they just sit and cry in the dark.

What do you never say to gay people?

IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS! 🤣🤣🤣🏳️‍🌈

If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby together, it would be a turd covered in semen.

I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.

It used to be "My Body, My Choice" until Trump came to power. Now it's "Your Body, My Choice."

What do you call it when a tranny commits suicide?

A good start.

If the US ate chicken, it would die.

Why do they call it oven, when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?

Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.

An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.

What is the difference between a zebra and a female NCO?

A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.