it's jokes

It's amazing how BLESSEDBRIAN manages to keep his head in the clouds while his FEET are FIRMLY PLANTED in mediocrity.

I'd insult BlessedBrian, but it seems NATURE beat me to it.

Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for BLESSEDBRIAN. I think he owes it an apology.

Leo is like a cloud... when she disappears, it's a beautiful day.

What did Tupac's homies smoke? His ashes.

It would've been too tacky to take a shot in his memory.

I tripped over my wife’s bra. It was a booby trap!

If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?

It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.

Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.

Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly?

Because it's in bread.

How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Tu.

This is two heads.

Deaf. "Deep water." ""

- "78 years."

Are you interested again? ""

"If you go ... you are there."

"No. 85 is good."

What is the most important value? It does not take cheese.

It insists upon itself, Lois, it insists upon itself.

If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.

I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.

Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.

What stresses a baby strawberry out?

When its mom is in a jam.

Why did the drum go to bed? It was beat.

Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst.

Once I read a book about glue.

I couldn't put it down.