it's jokes
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable.
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
Did you hear the story about the eel? It was shocking! 😂😂😂😂😂
Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.
I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
What time is it when it gets dark out?
Bed time.
What school did we say it was today? What did the snow say? "I love!"
I was gonna tell you a sodium joke, but Na, only I thought it was so dium funny.
I once had an owl who I thought it would fly away.
All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine? Anyone know what he means?
You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.
This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.
It’s too bad G won’t be able to follow in Kobe’s footsteps and rape a hotel employee but not serve one minute in jail.
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.