it's jokes
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
Rules of dark humor.
1. Everything shall be touched.
2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face...
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
A joke: my life, hahahahaha! Wait, it's not funny.
What did one plane say to the other?
"It’s been a long day, I’m ready to crash."
Other plane: "No you’re not, we haven’t even gotten high yet!"
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.
I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."
So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"
He says, "What's it to ya?"
So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"
Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking you.
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
Wanna hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy! 😅
I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.
Ever heard of the band "Nothing but Thieves"?
Yeah, it's called RobberBand.