it's jokes
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I can't put it down.
We went running on our camping trip. It was past tents.
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable.
You wanna know why Stephen Hawking isn't going to heaven?
Because it's a stairway, not a ramp.
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"
He says, "What's it to ya?"
So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"
Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
Wanna hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy! 😅