it's jokes
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?
Any ideas?
SHIT!!!!
I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
Why doesn't the Chinese have a cricket team?
It's cuz they always eat the bat.
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
Life is like a penis. It is short.
What happens to teeth when they go in water?
Bro, I dunno, they get wet?
Your hairline is so far back, even Vegeta laughed at it!
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
Ask the emo kid: "Hey, how's it hanging?"
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
Why were her hands purple?
She heard it through the grapevine.
Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said... "Error!"
What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?