it's jokes

666 + 420 + 911 + 21 = ?

Do it in calculator.

You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.

Why did the Roman eat pizza? He felt like it.

My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?

I find this website. I see this person named Gwen. I simp for her, but just for a troll. Next thing I know, we're somehow dating? Then her ex comes in and dates her again. Apparently, he is gay, and I'm pretty sure Gwen could be a boy, but he or she has 3 friends who always back her up, just to let y'all know this isn't really supposed to be a dating app or drama app, it's a joke app, and this isn't really a joke. But one last thing, you guys are all b*tches...

Lemme tell you a little story.

It’s night. You’re in your room, trying to sleep. But you keep hearing it—scratching. Soft at first. Like fingernails on wood. You tell yourself it’s rats, or the house settling. But it keeps going. Slow… then faster.

So finally, you get outta bed. You get on your hands and knees, put your ear to the floor. And you hear it. A voice. Whispers. Crying.

Your heart’s pounding. You grab a crowbar. You pry up the floorboards. One by one. Your sweat’s dripping into the dust. The noise gets louder.

And finally… you peel back the last plank.

And you see these eyes. Wide and terrified. And a pale little face staring up at you.

BOOOOOOO!!!!

It’s Anne Frank.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Broken pencil.

Broken pencil who?

Never mind, it's pointless.

A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."

I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful.

PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."

Girl, is your butt made of water, because it is tubig?

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they all beat the room for being black.

I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.

Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"

I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”

What does a cat say when it's angry?

- Stop stressing meowt!

Why did the bum get a slap?

Because it was being too cheeky.

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.

Why does a woman never set boundaries with a Mexican? Cause they will always cross it.