it's jokes

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!

Sans: What is Todoroki's favorite coffee creamer?

Half n' Half hehe.

Papyrus: Sans! He's not even part of our fandom!!!

Sans: Bro don't get so HOT headed about it. Just CHILL.

Sorry not sorry -sans

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?

Because it wasn't born yesterday.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈

Boy: *scares girl*

Girl: "Gosh, you scared me, Jesus!"

Jesus: *Arrives out of nowhere and said, "What is it, human? I got work to do."*

Girl: What work?

Jesus: "Coming out of nowhere when people say 'Jesus.'"

Haha, my life is a joke, but it ain't funny.

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.

If Canada had to apologise for Bryan Adams on several occasions, it's only fair that Americans are tortured and waterboarded for bringing Katy Perry and Carrie Underwood to the world!

I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.

Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked.

Now it’s $3.99.

What is the healthiest fruit?

An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!

Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.

Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is blocking the door!

Once there was a boat. Its friends said,

"It's time to come back." And the boat said,

"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."

I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.

What's a chair's favorite snack?

Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.

What did the man's dick say to the man?

I just can't "hand"le it!

You wanna hear a joke? It's YOU.