it's jokes
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because it can’t find home.
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?...
Because it's a FAMILY company.
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
Me: I'm retarded.
Teacher: Why?
Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
I have a thousand-piece puzzle of the Japanese map. It took me ages to finish it.
But after the earthquake, I just threw all the pieces on the ground, and it's done.
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Why does Saturn have a ring?
Because God liked it, so he put a ring on it.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture frame?
It only took one nail to hang the picture frame.
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, it ends world hunger.
We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
Man A: "Is Google male or female?"
Man B: "Female, because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion."
How are the Twin Towers and genders similar? There used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!
Why can’t orphans work at SC Johnson’s?
Because it’s a family company.