it's jokes
If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.
You also can't breathe if you die.
So why isn't it debreathiation?
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
One at the bottom that's still alive.
What's worse than that?
It's forced to eat its way out.
What's even worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night?
Dark humor.
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.
Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂
If you know it, you know it.
So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.
Stop making autism jokes, calling us "retards." It is not cool.
It was too irritating to listen to her and lend her my ear to talk to.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...
Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?
Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.
"Hey man, what's that, a dynamite you have in your hand? Ok, well hold it over. I'll give it right back."
"Oh no, I won't!"
"Oh yes, you will!"
"Oh, I won't!"
"Oh yes, you will!"
"Ok fine, then you take it or I'll blow our your butt before it farts."
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
Why can't an orphan make a YouTube channel?
'Cause they can't make it family friendly.
A man takes a boy into the woods.
Boy says:
"Mister, I’m scared, and it’s dark and cold."
The Man: "How do you think I feel? I’m walking out here alone!"
Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.