it's jokes
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
If you were to ask me, "What is the easiest job in the world?", it would be an Australian psychiatrist.
"G'Day, G'Day...how you doing...no worries, next!"
Teacher: We are going to Seville.
Girls: Omg, it's such a beautiful city. I can't wait to explore!
Boys: Ohh oh oh ohhh.
Omg thanks for 1000 likes!
Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.
Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!
Person: WTF!
Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
Why was 10 afraid?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why is an orphan crying about its family?
Because it can't "let it go."
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends how hard you can throw.
Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.
What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
I remember the time Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... too bad it was so short he couldn’t find any.
Why was the piano waiting at the front door?
Because it forgot which key to use!