it's jokes

Did you hear about the orphan that tried to high five a tree? It left her hanging.

I gave my friend some paper. It cut his wrists.

They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.

I like Christmas.

It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁

Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.

Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?

They hate it when you hand it to them.

Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?

I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.

Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.

I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.

*True story*

I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"

Why couldn’t the orange cross the road? Because it ran out of juice.

What do you call an Asian who gets a B?

It's not a B-sian.

Dead.

Why did God create women before men?

He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

Her: "Land of the free".

Me: *fat*

Her: What do you mean?

Me: It's not fat-free.

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

Your hairline's so far back, even Andrew Tate rejected it.

One like and whatever you say in the comments I'll do, but one rule: it can only be 2-4 hours in or out of Gloucestershire and South Gloucestershire.

My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.

I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hair dryer.

What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?

For me, life.