it's jokes

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Teacher: What month is it?

Quiet kid: AUG-ust.

Classroom: Visible concern.

I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

Because it felt crummy.

From your Dad.

I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.

Why did the pillow go to court?

Because it had a pillowcase!

What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.

Kid: Licks money.

Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.

Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?

How do you annoy Pinocchio?

Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"

Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...

It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.

What song did Whitney Houston listen to while doing cocaine?

"Run It!" by Chris Brown.

I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.

*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*

Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”

Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”

Teacher: “Why?”

Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”

I made a website for orphans. Sadly, it doesn't have a home button.

Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.

Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!

How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.