it's jokes
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
How to decorate a wall:
Strip off the paper and original plaster.
Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.
Paint it (if you want).
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.
Why are the candy's clothes in the studio?
Because it's a wrapper.
Why does rapeboat like going to the dog shelter? It's cheaper than a whore house.
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
Lady: Will you fuck me?
Man: No, I don’t have a penis.
Lady pulls down man's pants and looks in them. "Yes, you do!" she says.
Man: Oh, I forgot it was there.
Is it all right when there is nothing left?
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
How did the skeleton know it was about to rain?
"Because he felt it in his bones?"
No,
He read the weather app, you idiot.
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
My friend Arid asked me what I did over the weekend. I told him, "I read."
Get it? I read? No... ok.
Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.
As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"
Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”
Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!