it's jokes

My worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.

I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.

What’s an orphan’s favorite cereal?

Because it’s the only magical string in his life.

Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?

And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?

When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!

Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?

Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?

Why don't orphans drink milk?

'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.

What's it called if an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

Why is a tomato red?

Because it saw the ranch dressing!

Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.

Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?

A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.

haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.

Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.

Joseph: No, they don't.

Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.

Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.

A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?

I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.

If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.

I have depression, but I don't know how to show it in feelings.

Is it a bird, is it a plane?

No, it’s a 9/11 victim.

I would try to stop rapists, but force would be an option for it.