it's jokes
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell it to clap until his/her parents are back.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
What do a track meet and a frat house have in common?
They both have something getting ran through by eight men while it just sits there.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
Did you hear they found a cure for autism? It's called Zyklon B.
Light it up blue 🔵
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
What's the difference between an air blower and Little Boy?
When the air blower blew, it did not wipe out Hiroshima.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
Who thinks people should stop doing orphan jokes? Type here so we can talk about it.
Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.