it's jokes
Your mum is so fat Les Dawson would agree with me that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand, she throws it.
Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
How come the toilet paper could not make it across the road?
Because of the Corona Virus.
Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Kid 2: Why?
Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.
This background is so good, and I would like to show yall it.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.
Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.
Joseph: No, they don't.
Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.
Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.
Yo mama so fat, when she joined Team 10... It became TEAM, 10, TONS!
I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.
I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"
Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.
Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crack.
R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.
Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.
Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."
A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.
The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."
The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."
The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."
The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."
The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."
The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."
The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."