it's jokes
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.
Did you hear about that new emo pizza? It cuts itself!
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling well.
What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?
Her miscarriage.
some say lil durk and king von were friend's, but others say they were cousin's. HELP ME OUT which is it.
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
Yo momma's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.
It’s all about execution.
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
There is a room of men: Jamal, David, and Afzul. "Jamal is black," "David is white," and "Afzul is a Pakistani." Who set off the bomb?
Afzul, it's clearly him cause he's a Pakistani...
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
9/11 wasn’t the date, it was the score.
In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.
Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
Denki: Hey Mineta, I have a joke.
Mineta: ...go on...
Denki: Ochako's booty.
Mineta: I don't get it?
Denki: Exactly.
Mineta: *cries T_T*
Once upon a time, a donkey was in the jungle. Suddenly, he found a lion costume and then wore it. Then he walked around the forest, and every animal was scared of him. Then he got to the city, and every human was away from him. He was chasing them when he was chasing his owner. He brayed, and then they figured out that this was not a real lion, and then he told everybody about it. Then he berated his donkey.
How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.