it's jokes
There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.
Q: What's the best way to eat a squirrel?
A: Open up its little legs.
A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm, this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm, this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."
Stormtrooper: What happened to the Jedi Order?
Palpatine: Slew it!
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
Why did the bike fall over?
'Cause it was wheely tired.
My friend made a joke about dogs. I said it was a RUFF joke.
Yo mama is so fat.
When the 🌞 retired, she was eligible to take its place.
Dark jokes are just like water.
Not everybody gets it.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Without other people's dicks in it.
You can pick your friends and you can pick your 🤥 nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃.
Does it 🚲 🚲 🚲 cycle now?
What is a box called when a cough dies in it?
A coffin.
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning?
Because unlike the Twin Towers, it can dodge!
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?
Because Paul Walker crashed into it.
Leo is like a cloud... when she disappears, it's a beautiful day.
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.