it's jokes
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
Sir, I mustache you a question...
Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer couldn't find it.
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
If a deaf person is missing fingers, is it a speech impediment or an accent?
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her pussy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.