it's jokes

My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"

Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.

"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.

How did Michael Jackson get away with it?

He's a smooth criminal.

Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.

Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.

It's not funny to joke about orphans. Without any education, they'd never understand what the jokes mean.

What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.

Why does Michael Jackson like Doge Miner? He thinks it's about minors dressed in doge costumes.

I ate the Emo Emo no Mi from One Piece. It gave me the powers of black hair, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer couldn't find it.

Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.

I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.

If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.

The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.

My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.

He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

If you really think about it, every market in Africa is a black market.

I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.

Why is prostitution illegal?

Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.

I asked my North Korean friend how it is to live there.

He said he couldn't complain.

What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?

She had small tits.