it's jokes
What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.
Why does Michael Jackson like Doge Miner? He thinks it's about minors dressed in doge costumes.
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.
It's not funny to joke about orphans. Without any education, they'd never understand what the jokes mean.
My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.
My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.
"You look like you've lost some weight."
"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"
The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.
I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.
Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?
Palpatine: Brew it!
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
Sir, I mustache you a question...
Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
How did Michael Jackson get away with it?
He's a smooth criminal.
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.