it's jokes

What do you call it when a midget waves at you?

A microwave.

The waiter recommended the rug meal.

She said it was delicious, but it's a tassle to make.

Come on guys, it's not nice to make fun of autism. I mean really, the Riot devs try their best, but just because they have autism does not mean you can make fun of them. Make fun of them for something else, like their Down syndrome.

I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."

A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."

A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."

It's not my fault my cousin's hot ;) YEE YEE

I adopted a dog. It's gone now.

At least homeless people in China are not starving.

My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.

I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.

What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.

Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"

Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"

Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."

Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?

It reminded him of Richard Clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife.

How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.

Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"

Person 2: "What is it?"

Person 1: "Plagiarism!"

My heart is like a plane.

It crashes every once in a while.

Justin: Hey.

Josh: Hey man.

Justin: Why only "man"?

Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.

Justin: I don't mind.

Josh: Okay, S L A V E.

Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!

My dick is red.

Your pussy's pink.

It's really tight

When you're dead.

Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.