it's jokes
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
So, the sea is on a computer but doesn't know how to search, so the computer said to the sea, "Search!"
Do you get it? SEArch.
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.
My penis is too big for my dad to suck it, so my mum sucks it instead.
Someone asked me where to find de wae?
I replied with: Oh, de wea, that's a shop. It's down the road.
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
Why did the bike fall over?
It was too tired.
A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.
A gay man offers him a drink.
The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.
"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."
The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.
Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.
They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"
He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."
So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"
What's worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you?
Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before...
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!