it's jokes

PTSD

37 views ·

Everyone knows why 6 is scared of 7, cuz 7 8 9.

But why does 10 have PTSD?

Cuz it’s between 9/11.

Submarine

76 views ·

What’s the name of OceanGate’s next submarine?

Judging by the breathing conditions on their subs, I bet they’ll call it the "George Floyd."

Hairline

5 views ·

This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!

Reincarnation

279 views ·

This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."

Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.

Regret

8 views ·

What was OceanGate's biggest regret?

Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.

Orphan

16 views ·

If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?

Years of child support!

Night

3 views ·

Me: I been up all night, no sleep--

The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.

Me: stfu! I’m just singing!

Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!

Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!

Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......

Superman

48 views ·

Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.

This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.

Body

16 views ·

Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?

911

4 views ·

911 happened a while ago and it's slowly losing its fame.

Time for a remake!