New Is Not Jokes

The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.

The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.

Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?

They’re jealous that autism can speak.

(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

Who is not hungry in Africa?

A dead person.

Hi, I'm Adopt, and you guys hurt my feelings. It is not God :(😔😞😔🥺. I'm just a kid. I'm 7.

What's the difference between Elton John and rapboat?

Elton is talented, rich, and openly gay. Rapboat got fuck all talent, no money, and is not out of the closet yet.

This is not a joke. Stop online dating.

Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.

(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.

I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.

Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(

Some rules of childhood cricket:

1. Whose bat, his batting.

2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.

3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.

I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"

He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."

Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.

In the heart of a circular, creamy delight, there exists a void, a singular absence that adds to its charm. This hollow space, a perfect round, is a testament to the artistry of nature and man's culinary skills.

The hole, a silent observer, bears witness to the transformation of the substance around it, from a liquid state to a firm, yet supple form. It's a silent testament to the passage of time, a symbol of patience and the magic of fermentation.

The void, despite its emptiness, contributes to the overall aesthetic, making the slice a visual treat. It's a playful peek-a-boo with the world beyond, a window that adds mystery and intrigue.

In the end, the hole is not just a void, but a character in the story of this culinary masterpiece, a silent protagonist that adds depth and character to the narrative. It's a testament to the beauty of imperfection, a celebration of the unique and the unconventional.

The first time you have a new phone you have a different one you can change your phone to a new phone but it doesn’t change the phone 📱 it’s just different I think it will work I just think it would look good 👍 and then it would work but you don’t know if it’s the right thing for the new one you just know it’s the wrong 😑 it’s a bad phone 📱 it’s a new thing it’s the same for different every day but it doesn’t look 👀 and I think 🤔 so it’s not a good 👍 but it works so it’s different so it’s different for the new phone 📱 and it doesn’t have to work on it doesn’t matter to the same for you know it’s just the one ☝️ but it doesn’t have the one that I can do a lot better and I can just use my new one ☝️ but it is not that the new iPhone 📱 so you have the one that’s the other is that I have the same thing and it’s the same phone 📱 but I have to get the new iPhone 📱 I just want it and then you have a good 😊 and it’s a different number so it’s just like 👍 so it’s just one ☝️ but you know it’s not like 👍 I have the new iPhone 📲 so you know it’s just one ☝️ so it’s a little more than just the one ☝️ and it will get the new phone 📞 so it’s just easier and cheaper for the money 💴 but it won’t cost 💲 much more to pay 💰 off your car 🚘 than to get the phone 📱 for the next two weeks weeks or even two years to to have the car car 🚘🚘 fixed so it’s easier and quicker and I will be happy 😆 I’m happy happy 😊 I’m so excited excited 😊 thank y all and I will talk soon 🔜 and have you have an update as to the results soon 🔜 thank ya again so far hope all goes all are good 😌 hope to be in your class today love ❤️ and have you been in your dreams hope all your day too bye ✌️

No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.

It's just true.

A suicide bombers biggest fear is not exploding.

Roses are red violets are blue most of your jokes are stolen is not original to you

What is the difference between a gay male who is not physically challenged giving a blowjob job to a gay male that is not physically challenged, and a gay male who is physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male who is not physically challenged? A gay male who is not physically challenged who receives a blowjob from a gay male who is physically challenged, would still not believe that the physically challenged male is gay because the gay male who is not physically challenged is the definition of a asshole

Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.