New Is Not Jokes - Page 3 - Worst Jokes Ever

9/11 is not funny. It's just plane disrespectful to make fun of it.

Holy fucking shit, Addison, watersharky, Gwen, and all of you other cringelords, I swear to God if I hear one more thing about "please be kind, no bullying on the internet," I will actually shoot my local school.

You may not know, since you are only 8 years old or whatever, but the world is not kind. It’s full of sick people out to beat others, and the only way to stay safe is to beat them. So even if you think you are spreading kindness, it’s just gonna make you a target. So just stfu and keep your "please be kind" messages to yourselves.

You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make noise after you throw them.

This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.

What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?

A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.

What do you call an African that is not hungry? Dead.

Why can't dwarfs go to space? Because NASA is not sending monkeys into space anymore.

Remember, the confession booth is not a glory hole.

This is not a joke. Have you ever thought about it? You’re an emo while wearing black. So what if you are black? Does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emos wear black? ;)

Your hairline got suspended, it's not coming back.

Lemme just say one thing:

Depression is not funny. Two of my best friends have it, and it's actually quite hard to watch them suffer with it. They cry all the time, they get upset all the time, they either have wanted to or still do want to kill themselves. It's really not funny to joke about depression.

A funny joke is not funny after laughing because then it becomes a porn hub.

Whoever says a joke "is not a joke" should go commit bye die.

1. Full name: John.

2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.

3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.

4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.

5. Mental health: mentally retarded.

6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.

7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.

8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.

9. Working motivation: none.

I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.