Intelligence jokes

I saw a cat. It said, "Raisin" when he saw a nut. Hahaha, I am a crappy joker. Put me in the nerd club.

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.

The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.

Who needs storage on a computer? Just use an Asian's brain.

Yo mama so stupid, she thought a donut was dough shaped like a nut.

You smell like you farted hard. A, B, Honor Roll, all F’s, you retarded!

Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.

Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.

Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.

You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.

My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.

Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time.

The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.

You smell like you farted. FARTED harted HARTED. A B honor rolls, all F's, you retarded. OHHHHHHHH!

Why can't blondes make ice?

They forgot the recipe.

You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!

Yo momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.

Yo mama so stupid, she asks for the restroom on Amazon.

Yo mama was so dumb, he didn't know how to turn on his computer.

My brother truly is a numbskull.

Maybe Leo actually isn’t stupid... maybe she just has bad luck with thinking!

Why was the ant so smart? Because it always knew the answer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

The chicken who?

*Silence*