Insect jokes

It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.

What famous book writer for kids loved insects?

Beatrix Potter.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

What did one bee say to the other bee?

"I love you, honey!"

A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.

The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"

The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?

A life expectancy of 15-25 days.

If bedbugs live in beds, where do cockroaches live?

What do you call a fly without wings? Dead.

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."

Why did the bee go to the doctors?

Answer: Because he had hives.

How do you get a hippy pregnant?

Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.

If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?

A really fucking huge cricket.

Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?

... S'warm!

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use a honeycomb.

Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.

Bee Jokes:

"Hello."

"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"

"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"

"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)

"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"

"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)

"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"

"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)

"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."

"Fan?"

"Yes, your worst fan!"

"No! Fan!"

"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"

"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)

Why did John throw the butter out? Because John wanted to see the butterfly.

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.