Insect jokes
What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hey bud! When do you open?"
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
What famous book writer for kids loved insects?
Beatrix Potter.
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"
A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.
The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
If bedbugs live in beds, where do cockroaches live?
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
Why did the bee go to the doctors?
Answer: Because he had hives.
If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?
A really fucking huge cricket.
What do you call a fly without wings? Dead.
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
Bee Jokes:
"Hello."
"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"
"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"
"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)
"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"
"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)
"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"
"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)
"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."
"Fan?"
"Yes, your worst fan!"
"No! Fan!"
"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"
"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)
Why did John throw the butter out? Because John wanted to see the butterfly.
A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.
They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.