Invertebrate jokes
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
What is the difference between a white octopus and a white squid?
A white octopus isn't in the KKK!
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!
What does your mother look like after I had sex with her eight times? An octopus.
What do you call finding half of a worm?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh moan for me.
Why do women have legs? Because they would leave snail tracks wherever they went.
Did you know that when pigeons have sex, they die?
Really?
Well, the one I fucked did.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a pornstar? One stops sucking when you smack it.
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?
Both have eight legs.
God creating spiders.
God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"
I have a fish that can breakdance only for 20 seconds, and he can only do it once.