INS jokes
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"
Kid named Teacher: *
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.
Three kids one day found a magic slide. There was a sign next to it that said, "Slide down and your wish will come true." The first kid slid down and wished for a chocolate river. He landed in a chocolate river.
When the 2nd kid slid down he wished for a bunch of money. He landed in a pile of money.
Finally, the 3rd kid slid down, and he said, "WEEEE!!!!!!"
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
What do you call it when you are very sad in Panera Bread?
Panera Dread.
I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."
Attention to everyone - I will be leaving for 3 weeks for a summer break. I will be back in 3 weeks. When I come back, I want someone to tell me everything that has happened over these weeks. (Gwen or Addison Banks).
Sincerely, watersharky.
What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."
What's the difference between a flower and an orphan?
One is allowed in the house.
What do you call a kid that's in the fire? Hot Wheels.
What did Tupac's homies smoke? His ashes.
It would've been too tacky to take a shot in his memory.
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it cracked.
What’s the difference between 3 cocks and my sister?
My sister can’t take a joke about cocks in bed.
Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"
What’s your favorite food? Chode in the hole?