INS jokes
Me: I look up to you.
Friend: Wow, thanks!
Me: But in general cuz your so tall.
The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
Why do gay men like the filling in Hostess Twinkies?
It reminds them of cum. 😋 😍 😏 😜
My happiest moment in life was getting a positive grade on my H.I.V. test without studying.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.
I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."
COVID-19 won't last long... it's made in China.
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
Confucius say:
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."
So 6 is scared of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 10 have PTSD?
He was stuck in the middle of 9/11.
How do you start a rave in Africa? Stick a pizza onto the ceiling.
what do you call a terrorist attack in india?
a wednesday.
In death, what is the only organ in a woman's body to remain warm?
My dick.
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.
The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.
In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!
I like my women how I like my wine.
14 years aged and locked in a cellar.
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."