INS jokes
Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
Imagine you ask a girl out in braille.
And she leaves you on felt.
Why did the FBI get a foster family for an orphan?
So he could be in a lovely family before death.
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
What is a Jamaican's idea of a balanced diet?
A joint in each hand.
Michael J. Fox goes in to get a haircut. He comes out missing an ear.
Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!
Steven Hawking's Sesh Cave, entry 50p, guaranteed Budweiser and ecstasy. Maybe a gram of heroin. You'll most likely see a mental 90-year-old guy absolutely going mental on the dance floor with a Stella in one hand and another on his crotch.
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.
Why am I in jail? Because I wasn't invited to the party in the orphanage 23 days ago. Stupid fucks.
Don't you feel an empty feeling...
IN YOUR SKULL!
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up in the morning? because they don't have balls to scratch.
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
Joke: "7 8 9" (seven eight nine), why is 8 (eight) scared of 7 (seven)?
Answer: This is because; in "7 8 9", 8 is pronounced as (ate). So because seven ate nine, eight is scared that seven would eat eight also.
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."