INS jokes
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
A woman comes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think I have cancer." The doctor checks it out. "It’s all in your head," the doctor says. "Phew," said the woman. "A bunch of tumors, all in your head."
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
What’s an abbreviation for school in America?
Shooting range.
Jokes just as dead as the victims.
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
The cemetery is so overcrowded.
People are just dying to get in.
Knock knock... Who's there? It's Jesus, let me in... Why? I have to save you... From what? From what I'm gonna do to you if you don't let me in.
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.
I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."
You want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. You want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. You want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the next door neighbor.
What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quick sand?
Quatro Sinco.
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
Why does Sally have 100 sisters? She lives in an orphanage.
What type of people think rape jokes are funny?
Only the coolest people in the world! I fucking love you guys 😂
"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?
Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.
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If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.