INS jokes
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?
A bath bomb 💣
What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Today in class, I screamed "Jenga!"
We were watching a 9/11 documentary.
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ballroom.
I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.
Two orphans fighting in the rain.
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
They say that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body. Wanna fight? 👅💦
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
What do you call Adolf Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"
My friend entered a pun contest. He entered ten, figuring at least one of them would win, but no pun in ten did.
Why does Michael Jackson like Doge Miner? He thinks it's about minors dressed in doge costumes.