INS jokes
Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?
The owners know that forces come in pears.
What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?
One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
What is a terrorist's first move in chess?
C4.
What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?
Hot Wheels...
I went fishing while watching porn, and my girlfriend said, "Well, you want my fish?" and I said, "But you're not in the water."
An orphan and a homeless man get into a fight, so he yells in a mirror.
Why don't dwarfs have cars?
Because they can't get in the door.
What do you call somebody in America that is smart?
An immigrant.
What do you call a transgender person in a wheelchair?
An Autobot.
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
How many emos does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, because they just cry in the darkness.
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
Snover1: You can't pass through Snow Way!
Squirtle: Why can't I pass through Snow Way?
Snover1: There's snow in the way.
Snover2: Yeah, you can't get past through the snow while it's on the way, to continuous.
Squirtle: What? There's snow in here the whole time. What is this? Snow Society?!
"AAAAARRRGGH!!"
Squirtle: Who is that?
Snover2: That is Snow.
Squirtle: What?! That giant snow tree thing is Abomasnow!
Snover2: Oops! Don't be a Halt!
"Haaaaaaaaallllltttt!!!"
"Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!"
Snovers: That was a JOKE, Squirtle be FROZEN, just let it go, let it go!
So, this woman woke up since she had a bad dream and was yelling about her bad dream. Then, in the bed, her husband woke up and said, "Hey! You just woke me up in a sweet dream!" She said, "Oh, sorry babe." Then she asked him what his dream was about, and he responded like, "I was with a woman; me and her was in the middle of dreamy sex; you just ruined it!" She said, "AAAAh!" He asked her what her dream was about, then she replied as, "I was trying to suck a man's penis, and a cock trying to get cummiee out of it!"
"Look, Ma! I peed in the pool!"
I'm Pickle Rick from Fortnite hahahahahaha!
How much do the bones in your body weigh? A skele-ton!