INS jokes

Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."

What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?

Spit, spit, spit!

Happy birthday to you, you look like a ball, can’t fit in my jaws, I try to suck it.

I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.

He was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city hall in French, and then on his way to be a good friend of the situation in the city, as he had been fixed in a few hours of the situation in which he was walking. I will never shiver at the sight [of] words.

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

A girl asked me to eat her out one time... so I put her in the oven.

Father: "Son, you were adopted."

Son: "What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"

Father: "We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes."

What do George Floyd and Jordan Neely have in common?

Both can't breathe.

I tried making vegetable soup yesterday, but I couldn’t fit the wheelchair in the pot.

It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.

Why don’t pedophiles win races?

They like to come in a little behind.

In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."

Maybe Soy Milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish! (Soy means "I am" in Spanish).

I threw my boomerang and now I live in constant fear.

Two twins were talking in class. I threw a paper airplane at one of them.

If someone called you ugly, say before you call me ugly, look in a mirror.

Why do orphans have water in their cereal?

Because their dad never came home with the milk.

When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.

Two lepers playing cards... one threw his hand in; the other laughed his head off.