INS jokes

Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?

He was not worth keeping.

I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"

What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?

They both have eyes.

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.

You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.

*Shotguns in a nutshell*

2B: MUST.

4B: ADD.

6B: MORE.

12B: *B A R R E L S*

*And that's how multi-barrel shotguns were made.*

Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"

My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.

There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???

What's the second hardest thing in the morning?

The first hardest thing. 🍆

A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"

I saw one kid in a game. He went, "I love you, tree!" He was dumb as cant tell, sorry.

An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."

He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"

He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."

How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they sit in the dark crying.

None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.

What do you call a failure in another language?

Me.

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

What do you call a man in love with an emo?

I really don't know.

The potholes so big in Oklahoma Can make a whole garden.

What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?

An octopus.