INS jokes

Person: What's your perfect date look like?

Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.

I like...

Wendy's.

"Wendeez nuts in your mouth."

Stand in the corner.

What do emo kids and apples have in common?

They both hang off trees.

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A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

Have you seen the Justin meme?

Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?

Just-in time for deez nuts.

Bruh.

But actually, it's a parody.

Wait, actually?

Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).

Two muffins are in an oven.

One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"

The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

"Bugger off!" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

Do you know what Fortnite was like before season 2 chapter 3? They put the Foundation / The Rock in the water where aliens were that season.

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"

"Only in your dreams."

There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."

Your mama is so fat, she sunk Atlantis even though it's in the ocean!

What do / and \ have in common?

They have different results.

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."

"You're the bomb."

"No, you're the bomb."

A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.

I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!

Why does Apple logo depict 1 byte in the 21st century?