INS jokes
A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”
Everybody is talking about Trump having leaks in his office.
I don't see what the problem is. He should just use a better fitting diaper next time.
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
A toaster and a slice of whole wheat bread sit together in the sauna.
After five minutes, the bread starts to sweat extremely and says: "Oh, I think I'm going to be a toast in here!"
The toaster just looks at it bored from the side and replies: "Don't get upset. I'm just here to really switch off."
In Egypt, I walked past my twin named Tyler Bungard (you can search his name up) :
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
I looked in the mirror yesterday. I still have nightmares...
I didn't ask: ❌
I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem that anyone needed this information, and there doesn't seem to be any chance anyone will need this information in the future. ✔️
Do you know Putin?
Put in these balls in your mouth.
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"
After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."
Why does Michael Jackson like Doge Miner? He thinks it's about minors dressed in doge costumes.
Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!
"Florida was ranked the worst state in the 50 states by Thriller."
Florida: Well, WE didn't want to give our oranges anyway!
What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?
... A FLATLINE!
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
I slept like a log last night... woke up in the fireplace.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
Why does Helen Keller look in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!