INS jokes
Donald Trump has too much sand in his vagina.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
What do you call a Roman with a pubic hair in his teeth?
Glad He Ate Her.
merca baby🇺🇲
What's red and white and lives in a blender?
A baby.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That it will never get old.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.
I am Wayde, I like ranga balls, please cum in my ass.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
What's black, blue, and red, laying in a ditch?
You after you disrespect me.
We're all unique, which is something we all have in common.
Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.
What makes all these categories so familiar? Either you've experienced them, or made them up in your backstory.
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
I was in a bar in Italy. Me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number. I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found. I turned back, then I saw Pessi running with it. Shame on you, Pessi, for ruining my night! 😭
"Racecar" spelled backwards is "racecar," but "racecar" sideways is how Paul Walker died.
Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"
Because the cheese got raped.
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"